traversing: back

its been over a year. or at least it feels like it has.

and i realize that once in awhile you become a passing thought. or notion.. if only for a brief second. maybe to say hello in my mind... maybe because it's the only form of acknowledgment i want to return. something only to myself. something that can never be shared with you.

not that i'm not inclined to share right now.... or anytime for that matter. i've never been one to hide much. but i've come to realization that i like not talking to you. hearing you voice calmly resonating before the dial-tone. i don't feel at a loss that i don't have your presence to lean on. and it's not because i built new bridges. or solidified old ones.

i just can't recall why i'd want rebuild any bridge someone maliciously burned, regardless of intentions.

there are many forms of forgiveness that i have given in my time. and relinquishing my disappointment with where we now are is more than forgiveness enough.

i don't need any semblance of what we had. i don't know if i ever will.
though my door is always open if you so choose.
know that i don't miss you.