thinking. about today

is it bad to say that i love days like this.
the overcast gloom that pervades the sullen air.
watching a small wind dancing with the fabric on his window sill.
is it bad to say that i love waking up everyday, no matter how dark or light the day gets, so long as it's next to him?
that i can't remember the last time i've ever felt so at ease.
it's been years... so many years that the distance makes me wonder if it ever existed?
once, maybe..... but only once.

in many ways there was always a forced communion, connection. a shoe dangling,
waiting along,
aside a trail of disappointment....
a path of knowings.

and yet, today.... here... i hear no afterthoughts.
i hear no voice in the back of my head playing with the delaying of the inevitable.
no notion of borrowed time.
the unraveling of pain, baggage, and unsettled emotions.

those pieces have faded.
been laid to rest at our proverbial door.

and in this house. colorful... and cold i lay listening.
to sounds of the water singing songs into the gutter.
thinking of the past. enjoying the present, hopeful of the future.

here it is warm.
here i have never felt as safe
at peace
in love.