thoughts before work.

The drive went much faster than I would have hoped.
Or maybe the daydreaming went a little longer than I expected.
I cried a little today.
Hit with the realization that this was real and that I should be content for myself. Maybe.
I cried because I realized where I’ve been, where I am now…. and I could not help but feel an immense sense of happiness and loss.
Happiness for what I have, for what I could lose.
Then again....
It’s all a blur. Words and thoughts scrambled together to make incoherent patterns.
Nascent melodies that will one day form a song.
A song in a space that I share with him.
Beyond the fantasies of warm beds, whispers, and cool breezes.
Closer to what we used to call pretend.
My space. His House. Our home.
One day. Maybe today.
Maybe.