thought of the day.

"Man is least himself when he talks in his own person. Give him a mask, and he will tell you the truth." -Oscar Wilde

What do you think?

fragmentary thoughts

drifting in and out work,

i can't help but think

of you.

you are always in my thoughts.

thinking: i love you. dearly. more than words can express.

ever more and more each day.

and if by chance you ever desire to call and say hello or climb back

into that old treehouse. my window.

into our covers to keep me warm.

i'll be there.
waiting with a book to read
and song to sing you to sleep.

knowing

is knowing a good thing? is ignorance bliss?

i guess it all depends on the way its presented.

knowing that you are not as happy as before, is not an easy feeling. being unable to make you smile the way i use to isn't comforting.

knowing that i'm enough, but the possibility that you might desire more is unsettling.

then again, i can only work within the confines of what makes me me.

and though i might appear shortsighted and rigid, please believe me when i say that it stretches.

and that extension of me is limitless. growing and traversing beyond the boarders that might try to contain it.

and though i might appear ill at ease. listless. needy and frustrated.
please understand that this is not a fixed state.
and for as taxing as it may be, i'm not the only one who has lead us here.

then again, i can't say that i don't have baggage. the kind of proverbial weight that breaks bones on the backs of strong men. i can't say that i'm not bruised beyond all recognition.

and for this i am sorry.

sorry more than you will ever know.

sorry that i don't see things the way that you do. that i am unable to hold my thoughts or tongue at bay. sorry that i push more than i really need to.

but it's who i am. who i might always be.
and regardless of how it causes us both pain, there is some good in this. in who i am.

in who you are.
in knowing this.

i just hope you know that.

dear dr.

i know it's been a long time, but i just wanted you to know that i thought of that conversation.... that promise you made me a couple years back... and was curious as to whether or not you were really up to holding your end of the bargain?

just so you know.... i've resigned myself to the realization i never even came close to my 5 year plan.

i was thinking that maybe i should extend that 5 year plan to a 10 year term and retire by base jumping off the empire state building without a bungee cord?

mmmm.... the possibilities.....

what do you think?
it's been too long.
i await your reply.

sincerely,
e

this type love.

I never thought I’d be one.
Always waiting in inhalations... exhalations being something of a dream.
A lofty notion, conjuring up images of multidimensional mirrors dancing in a space of multicolored dimensions.
But it is there. And you are here.
And so it is.