your images conjure thoughts yet to be created
articulated into form
molded into impressions
that i long to give
back to you.
in words.
in kisses.
in looks and sighs and tears.
i present this precedent.
my first born.
flowing from my womb
through my mouth.
my gift
i tie in an umbilical bow
of balloons
flown by birds
dancing in clouds of confetti.
along a trail of your scent
flowing south for the winter.
Thursday, October 14, 2010
Tuesday, October 12, 2010
The Converted.
I’ve been thinking about the increments lately.
Not necessarily the large leaps, but the small steps.
How each experience, no matter now inconsequential, lead us to where we are today.
And in that I can honestly say….
That this is the first time that it all makes sense (for me)….
Not necessarily in what I want to do with my life, but with whom I choose to share it with.
I think about the last four years in particular, and it wasn’t until recently that I was really able to map out how I got here.
How the process, no matter how heartbreaking, lead to the most meaningful breakthroughs.
What I once thought was a trial that I had to wade through, now feels like life slowing tying it’s noose around my hips, around my heart, tugging at me slowly… Guiding me to what I now consider home. To whom I now consider to be the love of my life.
I’ve never felt that way before.
Which is something extraordinary to admit to others.
Particularly myself.
So grounded in contentment that this investment is one, not of highs and lows, but of true balance.
So centered in happiness that its almost heartbreaking…
So fleeting because of its difficulties… because of its ease…. Because of its depth.
Which in many ways makes the substance of it that much heavier.
And though I have yet to fully digest it’s comprehension, I am humbled by this blessing.
In this time, I have learned valuable lessons about my worth, and the understanding that I can always put love in the forefront of my existence, but that it won’t always be easiest path.
That such an investment is a tireless pursuit that one must strive for.
Relentlessly.
And though I might not be one to give such advice (one way or the other), all I can say is that it does exist.
It is out there.
Just maybe not the way you anticipated.
Not necessarily the large leaps, but the small steps.
How each experience, no matter now inconsequential, lead us to where we are today.
And in that I can honestly say….
That this is the first time that it all makes sense (for me)….
Not necessarily in what I want to do with my life, but with whom I choose to share it with.
I think about the last four years in particular, and it wasn’t until recently that I was really able to map out how I got here.
How the process, no matter how heartbreaking, lead to the most meaningful breakthroughs.
What I once thought was a trial that I had to wade through, now feels like life slowing tying it’s noose around my hips, around my heart, tugging at me slowly… Guiding me to what I now consider home. To whom I now consider to be the love of my life.
I’ve never felt that way before.
Which is something extraordinary to admit to others.
Particularly myself.
So grounded in contentment that this investment is one, not of highs and lows, but of true balance.
So centered in happiness that its almost heartbreaking…
So fleeting because of its difficulties… because of its ease…. Because of its depth.
Which in many ways makes the substance of it that much heavier.
And though I have yet to fully digest it’s comprehension, I am humbled by this blessing.
In this time, I have learned valuable lessons about my worth, and the understanding that I can always put love in the forefront of my existence, but that it won’t always be easiest path.
That such an investment is a tireless pursuit that one must strive for.
Relentlessly.
And though I might not be one to give such advice (one way or the other), all I can say is that it does exist.
It is out there.
Just maybe not the way you anticipated.
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