the f word

Today I was asked about the notion of forgiveness.

Having read about it yesterday, I figure writing about it might give me some perspective today.

And my advice… The notion of forgiveness is a lofty one.

I often see people talk about their ability to move on, and yet see them struggle emotionally when they think about/or deal with their past…

And that makes me question.... Have they really moved on….? Have I….? Have we?

I don’t know what is possible. As for me, I know that I am capable of acceptance. And I have done my share of forgiving, but over the last four years I know that something has changed…. Which in turn has inevitably made me change… maybe irrevocably.

And that is, the slights that I have incurred by others has reached its breaking point.

I have always prided myself on letting go of the hurts of my past, and salvaging a relationship because of the good in each person.

I now know that this is fallacy on my part.

I now know that I can accept each person, but understand that when someone selfishly damages a relationship, I in return must choose to put myself first.

Sometimes that means leaving the relationship for some time. Sometimes it means removing yourself all together.

I have been told that this is viewed as compassion. To not ask for forgiveness, but to remove yourself and the other party from suffering or the cause of suffering.

At the end of the day it’s what enables my mind and my spirit to remain intact.

For others, I think acceptance should be good enough for the forgiver, for it is the first step in a progression to move through pain and loss.

Because anyone can say they are sorry, but very little do what it takes to demonstrate it.