fall.

is bad to say that i've got bruises?

bruises from you.

i've tripped before, scabs that healed over... leaving visible scars over an entrenched body.

it is bad to say that this slip is harder... harder than any slip i've had before?

leaving me unkempt and wondering about an actual break?

strange to think i've never broken a bone, and yet with you i could see it unfold.. play by play...

it's force expanding or fracturing my core.

broken capillaries, flashing a reddish hue waiting for the purple to implode its way around my tattooed sun.

as you kiss the expanding space taking over what little caramel pigment that is left, i smile.

your gift from my fall from grace.

My Adventures to Whole Foods: 6/19

Every time I walk to Whole Foods something interesting happens. It’s only a block away but I observe the most fascinating scenarios… Or at least, I think that I do…

Here’s what happened within a matter of 3 minutes…

I almost got hit by 2 cars within a matter of inches.. again.

I got hit on by a 12 year old, a senior citizen, and an entire league of guys in pick up trucks-- all in less than 10 yards.

I watched an old dude with a greezy Jeri Curl use his underage/pre-pubescent daughter to run up on a woman so that he could hit on her.

What have I learned:

That men make me want to perform a Tubal Ligation on myself.

That if I were to procreate, I'd be very careful with whomever I decide to have a child with, let alone with whom I allow to supervise it.

If you hear your son hollering at girl from the beat seat, bitch slap him for me and teach the ignorant ass scrub some respect.

That just because it is flattering to get compliments, it’s another to feel and observe what I did today. Damn boys get your shit together… I guess it’s easier to degrade and objectify someone when you don’t actually see them as a person… and that might be okay in certain scenarios, just please don’t make it my problem. And I won’t make it yours.

And finally… I’d better walk with a bat and some protective gear, just in case someone actually decides to hit me.

stasis

I wonder if I should worry.
If only seeing one side of a multidimensional form is good enough to warrant contentment?
Speaking in small increments, clues that lead to Cul-de-sacs, never maps that give its outright treasure, is confounding….
If not downright confusing.
I can’t honestly say that I depend on you now... or ever will…
I can’t say that I ever see us having an honest future.
What I can say is that you always leave me guarded.
Always wondering what’s really going on under the surface.
I want to hear what you have to say after you read this.
I want to hear the words fall from your mouth and drip off your tongue…
if only just to catch it…
place in it my ear...
savor it into memory.
I want to know how you really feel about this.
About me.
About her.
I want all of the pieces, for even half truths might give me some semblance of discretion.
If you can give me this.
Only this.
I can give us back.

a day with you.

Heard your voice this afternoon. A sound that burned off the remnants of deafening haze, making everything clear. Wondered what it would be like to listen to your song. Everyday. Every night. The last whisper before drifting off into nothingness. The only meaningful thing to come home to. Awaken into your warmth. Into your arms. Melt into silence. What a wonderful dream. What a wonderful morning.