Self Assessments in Self Deprecating Mode

Most days:
…. I don’t know how to be strong. And though I might appear to be, it feels more like a guise. In actuality, my strength lies in my acceptance of being broken and the tolerance of staying there.
…. I only give to compensate for my inherently selfish ways, which I struggle with on daily basis.
…. I’m indecisive, because regardless of my foresight I lack the ambition to really move forward.
….I have an overwhelming need to understand because I usually feel disconnected.
….When I appear to be the most put together are the days I fight with myself the most.
…. I give more than I should, so that no one truly see that I rarely give (of myself) at all.
…. I use my personality to compensate for my low self-esteem.

But am overall

…. Beyond my cynicism lies someone who uses hope and idealism to encourage and inspire myself, and if I’m lucky the people around me.
….Cares and gives even at the expense of myself.
….is someone who secretly never gives up.
….someone who’s come a lot further than I’d like to admit.
….someone who is waiting to share and find people willing to give those special parts of myself.
….credulous, even when I know I shouldn’t be.
…. someone who likes who I’ve become.

What does that mean?

That I’m a self-deprecating idealist, who still wants to change the world. And this point the only thing stopping me…. is myself.