free association.

"what do you think about when you recall last year?"

regression.

what it would be like to drown instantaneously.
metaphorically not literally.
restricted to the point where i could feel my endorphins rush and my heart flutter.
to feel the tightness of breath illicit a seizure....
powerful enough to create a proverbial collapse
lungs empty. body full.
loud enough recall a distant ache.
subtle.
and yet, something i still miss from time to time.

freedom.

choices.

sensations
remembering what that felt like?
what i feel like?

the dark.
the motion.
the reaction of force across my face. firm and yet not to the point of stinging.
but painful enough to wake me from my neurosis.

headaches
hands carrying boxes. springs dancing still. heels caressing the heart.
his head.
hangovers.

the ocean.
the smells and sounds resonating across a cylindrical space.
confined to dark corners and squares.

pressed up against tables. chairs. car windows.
knees sliding, skating along wooden floors.
keys.
rug burns on bed sheets.

sunbaths
pink and black stripes.
tendrils being pulled taut.

sangria kisses.
sunburn.
driving down the coast on a cloud.

connection.
subtraction: how loss always seems to fall into addition
silence
sound.

true love.
forgiveness.
hope.